


stanford sam gothic

by WalkTheStarsWithMe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ("you" are sam), Crying, Established Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, F/M, Gen, Gothic, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Isolation, POV Second Person, References to Depression, Sam Winchester Has Anxiety, Sleep Deprivation, Stanford Era, Stanford University, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 04:29:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11433189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WalkTheStarsWithMe/pseuds/WalkTheStarsWithMe
Summary: your father tells you to get out, go, and never come back. you do. it’s the only time you have ever done as he tells you.





	stanford sam gothic

  * your father tells you to get out, go, and never come back. you do. it’s the only time you have ever done as he tells you.


  * you haven’t come back for a year and counting now. you haven’t called or written to your brother either. it doesn’t matter. you’re free now. you hope so, anyway.


  * you should be happy where you are now. you might not know anybody yet, but you’re sure a strong work ethic can carry you just fine through the four years ahead of you.


  * this should be a place where you belong and can be yourself. even if you failed that last test or forgot about some half-finished essay, it should be enough for you. you realize midway through another all-nighter that it’s not. you cry but keep working. somehow you still manage to make it to the sunrise


  * you are long and lanky and lost in time. days are measured in deadlines and due dates. you bury yourself in your work and lock the world out. all that matters is maintaining your gpa.


  * at some point you puke up three caffeine pills you don’t remember taking. you re-eat them without thinking. they don’t hold up your eyelids as well the second time around.


  * your professors cast furtive looks at you like you’ve just walked in on them sharing gossip during church. only two of them ask what’s going on. you brush them both off. they try to send you to one of the on-campus counselors. you brush them off too.


  * your roommate comments on how skinny you are, buried under your sweatshirt with its chewed-up strings. you just smile and nod and put your hands in your pockets so he doesn’t see how worse off your nails are. he doesn’t smile back.


  * your girlfriend sits you down in her dorm and watches to make sure you eat every last noodle in your styrofoam cup. you try to insist that you need to work. she says nothing aside from “eat first.” her gentleness hurts more than scolding ever could. you can’t comprehend why she cares so much when your father and brother, your flesh and blood, do not.


  * your brother says nothing at first when you call. the silence is suffocating, so you fill it with inane babbling. your tongue and lips flit like hummingbird wings. you wonder if he can hear the sweat rolling down your face, the shadows adorning your undereyes. you’re about to throw up again, but then he says, “i miss you, sammy” and it calms the churning sea in your stomach instantaneously.


  * that night you have the greatest sleep you’ve had in what seems like forever. your dreams are filled with you giving nonsensical speeches and bringing your audience of one to tears. you’re going to be a very successful, very normal lawyer. and you’re going to make your brother very proud while you’re at it. your father isn’t relevant anymore. your happiness takes center stage.



**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i am not a college student (yet), so feel free to let me know abt any inaccuracies and whatnot, hah.
> 
> feedback and kudos are very much appreciated! <3


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